Cold
by Tight Spaces
Summary: His body is cold; I can't feel the warmth it usually holds. KakuHida. Yaoi.
1. Cold

Name: Cold

Author: Tight Spaces

Summary: His body is cold; I can't feel the warmth it usually holds.

Rating: M

Warning: Rape, profanity, etc.

Disclaimer: Not needed.

A/N: I dreaded this, but here it is. The re-written version of Why So Cold. It was a bitch to write, but worth it since I hate the first version. I changed a few things, since a lot of things in the body of the story didn't correspond with the ending. (Actually, I changed a lot. Sorry. oTL) I hope it's better now.

...-...

His body is cold; I can't feel the warmth it usually holds.

I can't understand why he would use me like this. I can't understand what I did to deserve this.

He enters me; I hear no kind words telling me it'll be okay, it will only hurt for a little while.

It keeps hurting. I whimper.

"Shut up."

Threads twist around my limbs as his pace quickens. I cry out, and his mouth covers mine in a teeth-crushing kiss. It doesn't feel like a kiss. It feels like more pain.

The threads wander down to my member and squeeze it. I close my eyes.

There is no lubricant. Only blood.

I begin to cry.

I do not like this kind of pain.

I feel heat pooling in the pit of my stomach. My body is betraying me. I try to stop it.

I can do nothing now.

I finish. It's messy, and I feel tears pouring out of my eyes.

He finishes, and says nothing.

He does not collapse with exhaustion.

He does not hold me.

He does not kiss me.

He does not tell me he loves me.

He gets up and silently gets dressed.

"Kakuzu," I whisper.

He does not respond.

Why are you so...

Cold?


	2. Running

_Chapter Two_

_Running_

...

I scamper through the halls.

My heart is beating quickly.

Blood stains my skin and clothes.

I can't see.

Blood also clouds my vision.

I hit something.

A wall.

I'm going to sleep.

Right here.

The figure beside me is my imagination...

...

I wake.

The figure is gone.

I'm on a bed.

I smell blood.

"_Hidan._"

Tears begin to flow. He wants to hurt me.

I feel threads.

Wandering.

Searching.

Violating.

I get up.

I run.

I fumble with the doorknob. My hands don't work properly.

It opens.

I run.

Down the hallway.

Past doors.

I only hear my feet. They are quiet. I am too light.

I'm grabbed. I'm about to cry.

It pulls me into a room.

I cry.

"Hush, un. It's okay now."

I struggle to talk.

"D-Deidara?"

His soft blue eyes look into mine. Empathy is registered in my brain. He holds my hand.

"Everything's going to be fine, Hidan, un."

He pats my hand gently and smiles.

"Everything's going to be fine."


	3. Tears

_Chapter Three_

_Tears_

_..._

I cry in Deidara's arms. He's warm and gentle. However, he says nothing.

I look at him and he looks away.

Why is he avoiding my gaze?

"Deidara?"

"Hidan...un...I have a feeling the same thing happened to me...And I understand if you want to talk about it, un."

Talk?

_Talk?_

I shake my head.

"I think if I talk to anyone, it has to be Kakuzu."

I almost don't say this. But I know it's true.

Deidara shifts a little.

"Are you sure, un?"

I nod.

I'm not sure.

Why did I agree to this?

I get up.

I quietly thank the blonde.

He looks upset.

I ignore it.

Opening the door, I wonder if this is really a good idea.


	4. Distractions

_Chapter Four_

_Distractions_

_..._

The hallway seems short.

I wonder why this is.

Sweat beads at my forehead.

All I can hear is my heart beating rapidly.

I hear a noise.

A door.

It opens.

It's Zetsu. He exits his room, and golden eyes glare at me.

His nostrils flare.

He can smell the blood.

"Hidan."

"Zetsu."

"I...Hm."

He pauses.

"**Get on with it, idiot.**"

"Give me a second."

"**Hey, we heard Kakuzu was beating you up.**"

"Don't say that!"

"**It's true.**"

"He meant to say...Erm...Why are you going back?"

"**He'll maim you**."

"Kuro!"

"**It's true. Seriously, what are you thinking?**"

He has a point.

What am I thinking?

"I guess...I just..."

I want him to know what I think.

"I want him to know I love him."


	5. Almost There

_Chapter Five_

_Almost There_

_..._

His yellow eyes follow my every movement as I fidget.

"_Hm._"

Both voices grunt in unison.

"**Whatever.**"

"Be nice, Kuro."

"**Whatever.**"

He stalks away, mumbling to himself.

I head for the door.

Closer.

Closer.

Closer.

It's in front of me.

I'm scared, but it won't be _that _bad, right?

The door opens.

I yelp.

"I've been expecting you."


	6. What?

_Chapter Six_

_What?_

_..._

I glare at him.

"You've...Been expecting me?"

My voice cracks. I'm scared.

He grabs my shoulder and drags me into the room and closes the door behind me.

My eyes grow wide as he shows me a rope.

"Lie down. I don't want to do this the hard way."

I sit on the bed.

My mind screams for me to run.

He straddles my hips.

This is it.

I'm going to die.

He grabs my hands.

I swear and jerk away.

He grabs my hands.

I do nothing.

"Stop. Please."

"Be quiet."

He kisses me.

It's gentle.

I'm surprised.

Why do I enjoy it?

Right.

"Kakuzu?"

He gets up.

I struggle to get out of the binds.

I struggle harder.

Harder.

"You put on quite the show there, HIdan."

I whimper.


	7. Confusion

_Chapter Seven_

_Confusion_

_..._

Kakuzu sighs.

I growl.

"Let's get this over with. I have work to do."

I look at him, and I can feel horror building up in the pit of my stomach.

"What?"

He glares at me.

I'm scared.

A voice in my head tells me I should've listened to Zetsu.

"Do you want me to untie you?"

He walks over to me and removes the rope.

I try to run.

He grabs me.

I whimper.

"What is it with you?" he sounds somewhat stern.

Wait...

His voice...

Is that...

Worry?

I try to speak, but no noise escapes me.

"Are you going to answer me, Hidan?"

"I...I..."

"Well?"

"P-please don't hurt me..."

It comes out as a barely audible whisper.

I begin to cry.

"You..."

I look at him.

"You honestly don't remember, do you?"


	8. Realization

_Chapter Eight_

_Realization_

"What do you mean?"

My voice is becoming louder.

"What don't I remember?"

"Hidan..."

He puts his hands on my shoulders.

Then...

He pulls me into a hug.

_"K-Kakuzu!"_

_"Ssh, not s-so loud, Hidan..."_

_"Ah!"_

_"You know, Kakuzu," Hidan turned and slung his arms around the elder's neck. "You're waaay too fucking gentle with me. I'm not a woman."_

_"You could've said something __**before **__we had sex, you know."_

_"Oh, fuck off."_

_They both laughed and kissed gently. Both men were tired and wanted to sleep._

_"I'm serious, though."_

_"I see."_

_"Come on, Kakuzu! Just...Be rough or something. I follow the Church of Jashin, for fuck's sakes! Pain isn't a problem for me!"_

_"Okay, Hidan."_

_"Fuck! I'm serious!"_

_"Alright then."_

_"Screw you!"_

_"Go ahead."_

_Hidan laughed again. _

_"I hate you," he muttered, before kissing Kakuzu._

_"I love you too, you moron."_

_"But, you know," Kakuzu whispered into Hidan's neck. "You're going to have to remind me. My memory isn't what it used to be."_

_"Okay then, geezer."_

I stand there, with my mouth agape.

"You mean..."

"Yep."

"I...I..."

"Now who has the bad memory?"

He kisses the top of my head.

"I'm sorry," I say quietly.

"It's okay."

He leads me over to our bathroom.

"Have a shower, and then go to bed. You look terrible."

"Okay."

I hug him. He seems so much...Warmer.


End file.
